Batch 184

When I'm bored I've always thinking negatively. I hate myself when being like that but myself just turned into that personality ==' When I ask myself why my life was so miserable I'll always give an answer this to myself  "Because of your attitude Aikaa, if you want to have a better life just change your attitude" but still I'm not changing the attitude. I just can't, I don't want to be a fake person. I want to show the truth of myself but unfortunate me people just can't accept my attitude. Hmmm, before this I can say that I've many friend tho I've always being ignored by them. I still called them as my friend tho my mom say to me that I'm being fooled by them. Yeahhh, they use me like their useless toy. When they need me, they play with me if they don't need me they just throw me away. But I just don't care about that. As long as I still think you are my friend, I give you help if you need a help. I'm not asking that you have to reply what I have did to you. Just appreciate my help, Pleasee! Are its a big matter? No right? So why you can't do this to me? Why? Yeahhh, I've hurt many of my ex friends feeling but I think all of my ex friend know me right? Maybe I way to hard to youu, but please don't make this an excuse. Just because of this case, I've always hate myself. I really hate myself cause not being a hypocrite like others. Opss! Sorry for those who think I talked about you . But maybe I am, Hehe. If luck is on side me now, maybe next year I'll not being with all of you that I've hurt. Ngee, I'll go to boarding school. Yay for me if I do! HAHA. I hope I can find a better friend in that school :) Wish me luck guys. Tata~